Sandpaper Handjob: A good argument for arson


Sandpaper Handjob: We hate everything

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Here go two of the most disgusting cunts ever to walk the planet. Kirstie Alley ruined Cheers, and Oprah Winfrey brainwashes the dumb women who watch her turd of a talk show. We hope they both get uterine cancer and die.


13-13-3 (29) Jason Chimera's breakaway gave the CBJ some breathing room while Steve Mason shut down the Islanders during the fourth straight home win for Columbus. The Blue Jackets are 5-1-1 against the Eastern Conference, where all the faggoty Euro-bitches play hockey. Tonight, the Chicago RainbowHawks host the Jackets in a rare Jebus day game. The Blackhawks needed the miserly "Dollar" Bill Wertz to die before the fortunes of the franchise could improve, and things surely have since the old bastard passed away-at the gate and in the standings. Chicago fans show up to the games, make noise, and have a good time. You can also bet your ass that the game operations people would be shot like old dogs if they ever worked up the nerve to play Tom Jones in the United Center. Prediction: Columbus, 4-3 (SO)

13-13-3 (29)

Jason Chimera's breakaway gave the CBJ some breathing room while Steve Mason shut down the Islanders during the fourth straight home win for Columbus. The Blue Jackets are 5-1-1 against the Eastern Conference, where all the faggoty Euro-bitches play hockey.

Tonight, the Chicago RainbowHawks host the Jackets in a rare Jebus day game. The Blackhawks needed the miserly "Dollar" Bill Wertz to die before the fortunes of the franchise could improve, and things surely have since the old bastard passed away-at the gate and in the standings. Chicago fans show up to the games, make noise, and have a good time. You can also bet your ass that the game operations people would be shot like old dogs if they ever worked up the nerve to play Tom Jones in the United Center. Prediction: Columbus, 4-3 (SO)

A good argument for arson

While we hate everything, we are usually able to ignore the music we don't care for. The Jonas Brothers, Journey, P-Diddy, whatever.

There are some bands, however, that are bad enough to make people jealous of Helen Keller, the same Helen Keller that named her dog Yuaaheh and burnt her hand reading the waffle iron.

Eagles of Death Metal are one of those bands:

That's a stupid song with a stupid video featuring that doughy fuck Jack Black, who will find himself in the darkest depths of hell watching Airborne on a continuous loop while being sodomized with hot pieces of coal. No shock that a douchey band hangs out with other douches.

Eagles of Death Metal will be in Columbus Tuesday to entertain a small crowd of mostly retarded people at the Newport Music Hall. We can only hope that your Jebus himself chains the doors and sets the historic venue on fire, although we would want Justin Hotel War and his lovely girlfriend to escape unharmed.

The rest of you can go to hell.

Sandpaper Handjob:
We hate everything

Porn of the Day

Picture of the Day

13-13-3 (29)

Short Fiction

Dear Jorgé

Drunk in the Booth

The Truth

Sponsored by:

A good argument for arson

More proof that there is no Gawd

Sandpaper Handjob: We hate everything

Porn of the Day

Picture of the Day

13-13-3 (29)

Short Fiction

Dear Jorgé

Drunk in the Booth

The Truth

Sponsored by:

A good argument for arson

More proof that there is no Gawd

Sandpaper Handjob:
We hate everything