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Picture of the Day
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DET leads 1-0Columbus has the worst power play in the universe. Detroit, 4-1. Game 2 is Saturday night in Baghdad West. |
Short Fiction
Kamikaze AnnThe Country Place
Liquor Shits
The Puppy
The Bank Teller
Dear Jorgé
My friend wants me to knock her upI want to sleep with my stepfather
Dr. Cruz provides advice for beating the winter blahs
Dr. Cruz is back
Drunk in the Booth
Ohio State rocks soft scheduleJackets fans silenced in Game 3
NFL hates Jets, Jews
Wings take Jackets to school
Billy Guerin tells Philly to suck it
Indians partying like it's 1991
Jackets headed to Dee-troit
The Near Future of Sports
Blue Jackets lose to faggoty Penguins
Blue Jackets salvage point in loss to Calgary
Hemsky, Oilers hand Columbus crushing defeat
Spineless War Room in Toronto screws Blue Jackets yet again
Terry Frei and Adam Foote give each other rim jobs
Jackets take on Avs in Denver
Blue Jackets in Anaheim for New Year's
War Room screws Jackets in Dallas
St. Bernardus or the Columbus Blue Jackets?
Nash, Jackets screwed
Opening week college football picks
The Truth
Child molester Jackson now a heroFather's Day notes from the Boss
Crew Change is boring
Mexicans show us how dirty they are
Columbus Police protect and serve criminals
Columbus Dispatch horseshit
Clowns suck
Columbus Police take their horsies for a walk
Fun with The Columbus Dispatch
We're millionaires, bitches
St. Patrick's Day observations
Ash Wednesday in Columbus
Signs you're in a bad neighborhood
Pickup lines that work like magic
Whitney Houston is a crack whore
Top 10 Elementary School Field Trips
Fun Facts for the retarded to share at cocktail parties
Things to do in 2009
The worst of 2008
Clintonville condo project burns
A good argument for arson
How to drive drunk
Jewelers make us hate Christmas
Buy more life insurance
Oklahoma is our new president
People in Philly throw things
Baked Oposum Recipe
Wheel of Fortune sucks
Movies that cause brain cancer: Cellular
How to pick up a prostitute
Good riddance to East on Arcadia
Is Columbus growing up?
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Wings take Jackets to school
Thursday, April 16, 2009 11:55 PM
It wasn't 5-0, but it was pretty close. RJ Umberger tied the game at one midway through the second period, but nothing good happened after that. Too many early chances were wasted, and Columbus was taught a lesson. You have a problem when Rusty Klesla is one of two guys with a plus rating, and that problem is a 4-1 beating at the hands of the Detroit Red Wings in your first playoff game. Ever.
The Wings showed the Columbus Blue Jackets how things are done in the playoffs.
Oh, well. At least the best commercial ever is around to cheer you up.
We wish a Happy Retirement to John Madden, who announced he was putting down his headset after setting the standard for broadcast excellence. Winning a Super Bowl and dealing with a nut like Al Davis ain't bad, either.
We started watching Madden when he worked with Pat Summerall at CBS. The duo moved to FOX when CBS lost the rights to NFC broadcasts; when Summerall retired, Madden left FOX to work with Al Michaels at ABC, and later NBC. Madden and Michaels made up the greatest announcing combo in the history of sports, bitches. Throw in the video games and the hatred for flying and you're talking about a bad motherfucker. Cheers, Mr. Madden.
They're still shitty, but the Indians managed to win two and row. More importantly, they ruined the opening of the new Yankee Stadium. Take that, assholes.
If anyone sees Alyssa Milano, ask her why she hasn't been returning our calls.
