Jackets fans silenced in Game 3


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DET leads Western Conference Quarterfinals 3-0 The home crowd was impressive, but it wasn't enough. The series-long thrashing from the Red Wings in 2009 will serve the Blue Jackets well next year when they make it all the way to Western Conference Finals. You heard it here first.

DET leads Western Conference Quarterfinals 3-0

The home crowd was impressive, but it wasn't enough. The series-long thrashing from the Red Wings in 2009 will serve the Blue Jackets well next year when they make it all the way to Western Conference Finals. You heard it here first.

Jackets fans silenced in Game 3

Tuesday, April 21, 2009 10:37 PM

After years of losing, enduring the 2004 NHL lockout, and the death of beloved Blue Jackets owner John H. McConnell, Columbus Blue Jackets fans finally got a taste of Stanley Cup playoff hockey at home Tuesday night.

Unfortunately, the Blue Jackets and the Worst Power Play in the Universe (patent pending) gave a loud home crowd little to cheer about, sending them home silenced after a 4-1 loss to the Detroit Red Wings in Game 3 of a Western Conference Quarterfinal. Dee-troit can sweep the series Thursday in Nationwide Arena, which will be full of Dublin housewives with jacked up tits looking for strange dick at the R Bar after the game.

Brad Stuart blasted RJ Umberger along the wall in the second period to sum up the series nicely. Moments later, Henrik Zetterberg sent a shot past Steve Mason to make it 3-0, and the smart people in the crowd went to piss and grab another beer before the rush at intermission.

What's going right, or wrong, depending on who you cheer for:

-Umberger has scored the only two goals of the series for Columbus, which has been outscored 12-2 in the first three playoff games in franchise history.

-Wings goalie Chris Osgood has silenced his critics for now. The oft-criticized keeper has stopped 76 of the 78 shots he's faced in the series. Osgood wants you to know that you can take his .887 save percentage and shove it up your mother's cunt hole.

-Rick Nash has been held to 10 shots on goal.

-A Detroit fan managed to hurl an octopus on to the Nationwide Arena ice. How this is able to happen without someone going to the hospital is beyond us.

-Columbus has lost five games in a row, and is 2-6-2 in their last ten. The Blue Jackets have a lot to learn about hockey in the Spring, and the Wings have been more than happy to teach them. At least you're not watching baseball.

Ajani Ware and Brandon Crowder beez goin' to court on Thursday fo' dey prelims, nigga. The two Columbus Public Schools products were obviously not Boy Scouts, since their Campus-area home invasion fell apart when one of the victims was able to untie himself and call the police. Nice knots, jerkoffs.

The lesson: Don't sell weed out of your home, especially if you do business with coloreds, or whatever Afro-Americans want to be called these days. (LOL, ROTFL, etc.)

The two walking Brillo pads face single charges of aggravated robbery. We predict dismissals, since that's what happened every time one of these clowns have faced criminal charges. See for yo' self, homey.

Here's another reason to stay the hell out of the water:

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Jackets fans silenced in Game 3

Tuesday, April 21, 2009 10:37 PM

Sandpaper Handjob:
Kennedy tumor food