Sandpaper Handjob: Jackets headed to Dee-troit


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41-31-10 (92) Stock up on bourbon and dope. The last ten games were a struggle, but Columbus held on to a playoff spot, earning 92 points and drawing Dee-troit in the first round. Game 1 is Thursday in Baghdad West.

41-31-10 (92)

Stock up on bourbon and dope. The last ten games were a struggle, but Columbus held on to a playoff spot, earning 92 points and drawing Dee-troit in the first round. Game 1 is Thursday in Baghdad West.

Jackets headed to Dee-troit

Monday, April 13, 2009 3:45 AM

Despite the best efforts of head horsefucker Colin Campbell, the Columbus Blue Jackets have qualified for the Stanley Cup playoffs for the first time. In doing so, they send Bishop's years-long curse back to hell where it belongs. More importantly, fans have at least four more excuses to head to the Arena District on hockey business, drinking heavily at R Bar before swerving their way back to Hilliard, Dublin, and Polaris, where people who can afford lawyers live.

A typical Detroit Red Wings fan gets ready for the NHL playoffs.

It wasn't realistic to except Columbus to secure home ice for the first round, but the cold finish (3-3-4) and slide back to the seventh seed is cause for concern, especially after holding the sixth spot for nearly two months. With the worst fucking powerplay in the history of mankind, along with a penalty kill that is all over the place, there's no reason not to take runs at guys like Rick Nash. At times, Nash was the only weapon against questionable Motown goaltending, and his hat trick gave the Jackets one of their three wins against the Wings. If TJ Oshie can run around like an autistic child on acid during the regular season, what exactly will Columbus do about it when the seasoned Red Wings are taking liberties with Nash and RJ Umberger?

The Blue Jackets relied on strong goaltending and solid defense in earning a playoff bearth, and have shown they can play with Detroit by splitting the regular season series. But dis be da playoffs, and we're afraid the Blue Jackets are a player or two short of doing more than making Wings fans a little nervous.

Prediction: Red Wings in Six

March
Sun	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat
	1	2	3	4	5	6
7	8	9	10	11	12	13
14	15	16	17	18	19	20
21	22	23	24	25	26	27
28	29	30	31

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Jackets headed to Dee-troit

Monday, April 13, 2009 3:45 AM

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