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Does Hilary Duff scissor her sister Haylie? Yes. |
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24-23-5 (53)Before the Dallas Stars destroyed the New York Rangers, the Columbus Blue Jackets bent over for the Pittsburgh Penguins. Are the wheels coming off the wagon? Next up: San Jose, Saturday, 7:00pm |
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Blue Jackets lose to faggoty Penguins
Friday, February 6, 2009 11:45 PM
The Eastern Conference is the main reason the Columbus Blue Jackets are still in the playoff hunt. Sad, but true. Going into tonight's game in Pittsburgh, Columbus was 8-2-1 against the East, where they play a more faggoty, European brand of hockey. There are no Atlantas, Ottawas, or New Yorks to pick on in the West, where they play with depth and balls, so it's best to take advantage of the 18 games the schedule gods sprinkle about the 82 game slate.
Unfortunately, the Jackets forgot to play with balls, and also failed to take advantage of their trip to Pittsburgh, hitting posts and giving up shitty goals in a hard-to-watch 4-1 loss to the Penguins. It was the third loss in a row for the Jackets, who are desperate to reach the Stanley Cup playoffs for the first time in franchise history.
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This Pittsburgh stripper goes by the name Pryce, so there must be sex in the champagne room. |
Kris Letang scored twice, frog goaltender Marc-Andre Fleury made some nice saves, and the Columbus Blue Jackets looked like the sucker who finally has enough money to buy himself a whore but can't keep his dick hard when he finally gets her into his Chevy work van.
Manny Malholtra failed to convert a point-blank, open-net shot off of a pass from Kristian Huselius, hitting the left post and leading to a Pittsburgh rush that could have led to an even uglier Columbus beatdown. Columbus had plenty of chances, especially in the first period, but Columbus came out flat in the second, giving up three goals. Favorite son Sidney Crosby added an empty net goal as the Penguins moved within a point of the final playoff spot in the Eastern Conference.
Goaltender Wade Dubielewicz, who gave up four goals in a mop-up role against the Dallas Stars Saturday, didn't look much better against the Penguins. Dubielewicz has yet to look comfortable in the Columbus net, making us wonder what makes this guy better than Freddy Norrena. Dubielewicz was released by Ak Bars Kazan of the KHL after they signed, um, Freddy Norrena.
12/15/08: Columbus puts Norrena on waivers
12/20/08: Norrena signs with communist Ak Bars Kazan
12/30/08: Dubielewicz terminates his contract with Ak Bars
1/17/09: Columbus claims Dubielewicz off waivers after he signs with the New York Islanders
This whole goaltending mess started with Pascal Leclaire's ankle injury and the lack of a solid diagnosis, and has continued with Steve Mason playing with mono for a month. Of course, if anyone had known that Leclaire's season was doomed, Steve Mason would probably still be down in Juinors and the season would be over anyway.
What a colossal goat-fuck. It looks like Columbus will struggle to tread water until next month's trade deadline, and we all remember what happened last year.
