Sandpaper Handjob: Columbus Police take their horsies for a walk


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39-29-8 (88) Columbus can take a deep breath after the Jackets earned a crucial two points after beating visiting Darth Vader Tuesday night. The 2-1 victory takes some pressure off of the team after it lost two straight to St. Louis. Local escorts and cocaine dealers better get ready, since the playoffs start in about two weeks. Next up: Darth Vader, Saturday, 8:30pm

39-29-8 (88)

Columbus can take a deep breath after the Jackets earned a crucial two points after beating visiting Darth Vader Tuesday night. The 2-1 victory takes some pressure off of the team after it lost two straight to St. Louis.

Local escorts and cocaine dealers better get ready, since the playoffs start in about two weeks.

Next up: Darth Vader, Saturday, 8:30pm

Columbus Police take their horsies for a walk

Tuesday, March 31, 2009 9:45 PM

Spring is here, which is good news for people who like to hang around the Oval and jerk off to Ohio State bitches while they tan and finger each other. It's bad news for urbanites afraid of cops on horses.

The Columbus Police took some of their horsies for a walk, riding them through the Short North and West Campus early this afternoon. They are no doubt getting the animals reacquainted with people and traffic as unruly urbanites emerge from their nests to commit the usual Spring/Summer crimes.

We think the horses will come in handy at Red, White, and Boom!, where they will be used to navigate officers through the oceans of ghetto trash that have gradually turned what used to be a reason to go Downtown at night into a reason to stay home and burn sparklers in the backyard while drinking paralyzing amounts of bourbon.

Police horses are extra cool because when they're done being police horses they will become children's art projects and jello shots. It makes your worthless life seem a little more worthless, doesn't it?

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Columbus Police take their horsies for a walk

Tuesday, March 31, 2009 9:45 PM

Sandpaper Handjob:
North Campus wet cement ruiner