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6 The Cleveland Indians are six games out one month into the season. Go mow the grass; we'll let you know if anything good happens.

6

The Cleveland Indians are six games out one month into the season. Go mow the grass; we'll let you know if anything good happens.

Ohio State rocks soft schedule

Thursday, May 7, 2009 5:00 PM

Seven home dates plus a "neutral site" game with Toledo in Cleveland, as well as a "road" game in Bloomington? It could only be the Ohio State Buckeyes, the team everyone hates because a lot of their fans are faggots and their head coach is rumored to be a faggot. Coach Jim McSweatervest and his charges have a schedule that's light on meat and heavy on dessert, which could allow them to lose, drop, and then climb back into the national championship picture (HAHAHAHAHA) before getting mauled by Penn State in November.

Southern California and the Lions are the only solid foes on the 2009 schedule, which says quite a bit about the quality of the Big Ten right now. Despite Ohio State losing 35-3 in L.A. last year, there is still quite a bit of hype surrounding the Trojans' first trip to Columbus in two decades, which seems like a waste of hype to us. Also coming to Columbus is the University of Illinois, which still uses a savage redskin as its mascot. Good for them. Should be a good game, which won't be the case when Navy, Wisconsin, Minnesota, and Iowa come to the Horseshoe.

-Ohio State won't be leaving home much this year, and when they do, they won't travel far. The Buckeyes won't even leave the state of Ohio until October 3, when they head to Bloomington to face Indiana. That's an OSU home game even when the Hoosiers field a marginal team, which ain't gonna happen this year. The next trip, two weeks later at Purdue, should also be a cakewalk. They have new head coach Danny Hope to break in. The November 7 game at Penn State is the only road date more than 300 miles from Columbus, and a game Ohio State will lose, unless the Pryor kid wins the game by himself. The fourth and final true road game is up in the Big House, but it looks like DickRod will still need a year or two to get his shit together. That makes:
-eight games in Ohio (seven at home, one in Cleveland
-two games in the state of Iniana
-one game in Michigan
-one game in western PA

New Mexico State provides a break in the Big Ten portion of the schedule and should help everyone concentrate on their weddings and Halloween parties. (Attention stupid cunts: Nobody gives a shit about your dumb wedding when there is an important Ohio State game on. Most Ohio State fans will tell you they are all important, so plan accordingly.)

Northwestern and Michigan State are off the schedule this year, which is too bad for fans who like to make the trip to Chicago and get trashed while meeting their future employers in the home section of Ryan Field.

2009 Ohio State Football Schedule
September 5	Navy	-
September 12	Southern California	-
September 19	Toledo (at Cleveland)	143 miles
September 26	Illinois	-
October 3	at Indiana	226 miles
October 10	Wiscuntsin	-
October 17	at Purdue	244 miles
October 24	Minnehaha	-
October 31	New Mexico State	-
November 7	at Penn State	329 miles
November 14	Iowa	-
November 21	at Michigan	186 miles

Sandpaper Handjob prediction: 9-3 (6-2) This is a soft fucking schedule. The Kid is one hell of an athlete, which will come in handy when he spends half the season running for his life and occasionally connecting with one of his new receivers. Another beatdown at the hands of USC is a sure thing, and so is a loss in Happy Valley. But the worst thing that could happen to Ohio State is a loss at home to the Illinois Drunken Redskins. If Ron Zook can win with speedy Southern Negroes he managed to lure up north, OSU fans are going to start screaming for a new playbook and a new coach. Columbus is simply bored with the Big Ten title.

March
Sun	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat
	1	2	3	4	5	6
7	8	9	10	11	12	13
14	15	16	17	18	19	20
21	22	23	24	25	26	27
28	29	30	31

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Ohio State rocks soft schedule

Thursday, May 7, 2009 5:00 PM

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