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Picture of the Day
Columbus Graf, Part 1. Stick to breakdancing, asshole. |
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26-23-5 (57)Rookie Dan LaCosta shut down the visiting Avalanche, allowing Columbus to sweep the season series from Colorado. Turncoat Adam Foote did not play, as he was busy getting his asshole licked by faggoty Denver Post writer Terry Frei. Next up: Dee-troit, Friday, 7:00pm |
Short Fiction
Kamikaze AnnThe Country Place
Liquor Shits
The Puppy
The Bank Teller
Dear Jorgé
My friend wants me to knock her upI want to sleep with my stepfather
Dr. Cruz provides advice for beating the winter blahs
Dr. Cruz is back
Drunk in the Booth
Ohio State rocks soft scheduleJackets fans silenced in Game 3
NFL hates Jets, Jews
Wings take Jackets to school
Billy Guerin tells Philly to suck it
Indians partying like it's 1991
Jackets headed to Dee-troit
The Near Future of Sports
Blue Jackets lose to faggoty Penguins
Blue Jackets salvage point in loss to Calgary
Hemsky, Oilers hand Columbus crushing defeat
Spineless War Room in Toronto screws Blue Jackets yet again
Terry Frei and Adam Foote give each other rim jobs
Jackets take on Avs in Denver
Blue Jackets in Anaheim for New Year's
War Room screws Jackets in Dallas
St. Bernardus or the Columbus Blue Jackets?
Nash, Jackets screwed
Opening week college football picks
The Truth
Child molester Jackson now a heroFather's Day notes from the Boss
Crew Change is boring
Mexicans show us how dirty they are
Columbus Police protect and serve criminals
Columbus Dispatch horseshit
Clowns suck
Columbus Police take their horsies for a walk
Fun with The Columbus Dispatch
We're millionaires, bitches
St. Patrick's Day observations
Ash Wednesday in Columbus
Signs you're in a bad neighborhood
Pickup lines that work like magic
Whitney Houston is a crack whore
Top 10 Elementary School Field Trips
Fun Facts for the retarded to share at cocktail parties
Things to do in 2009
The worst of 2008
Clintonville condo project burns
A good argument for arson
How to drive drunk
Jewelers make us hate Christmas
Buy more life insurance
Oklahoma is our new president
People in Philly throw things
Baked Oposum Recipe
Wheel of Fortune sucks
Movies that cause brain cancer: Cellular
How to pick up a prostitute
Good riddance to East on Arcadia
Is Columbus growing up?
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Dear Jorgé: I want to sleep with my stepfather
Tuesday, February 10, 2009 10:30 PM
Dear Jorgé:Is it wrong that I want to sleep with my stepfather? He and my mom got married two years ago, but I didn't really get to know him until I came home from college during Christmas break. He's wonderful. When my mom and "Mark" came up to school last weekend, we went out for some drinks, and I was in love before the waitress brought us our first round.
Don't get me wrong; I love my mom. But they don't get along, and it's killing me not to call him. I think we could keep it a secret, but my friends think I'm nuts. My roommate said I could sleep with her boyfriend if I just needed to get laid, but she's totally missing the point. Please help! -Carla, Ypsilanti
Carla: There's nothing wrong with fucking your stepdad, but you need to go about it the right way. Next time you go out for drinks, have Mom and Mark come up to your dorm. Lick your mom's twat, and Mark is sure to dick you down for hours.
Dear Jorgé:Whatever happened to Leeann Tweeden? -Sean
Sean: Go look it up.
Dear Jorgé: My husband hasn't spoken to me since last week, when I finally admitted that I voted for Obama back in November. He thinks I'm an idiot, I think he's a racist. Who's right?-Obama for Pres, Husband for Life
OFP:He is, you stupid cuntbag.
Dear Jorgé: I've heard that Terry Frei, some douchebag with the Denver Post, is a closet homosexual. Is this true?-Sean A.
NHL: Actually, he's fucking Adam Foote. They're queer for each other, which helps to explain why Foote failed to face the music in Columbus tonight. They can't stand to be apart, so he and Frei stayed in Denver to play tummysticks instead.
Dear Jorgé: I've heard Columbus is full of you-know-whats. I have a job offer on the table that would require me to relocate there. What can you tell me about the city? Bill S., Fort Wayne
Bill It's full of all kinds of you-know-whats, and a colored mayor. Bring a flamethrower, and try to find a house in Powell, where queers and criminals minorities aren't welcome.
Dear Jorgé: I got a blowjob at my buddy's bachelor party the other night. Is that cheating, and should I tell my girlfriend? -Nervous in Toronto
Nervous: No and no.
While horsefucking may be a sport in Canada, oral sex isn't cheating there anymore than it is here in the States.
