Short Fiction

Kamikaze Ann

The Country Place

Liquor Shits

The Puppy

The Bank Teller

Dear Jorgé

My friend wants me to knock her up

I want to sleep with my stepfather

Dr. Cruz provides advice for beating the winter blahs

Dr. Cruz is back

Drunk in the Booth

Ohio State rocks soft schedule

Jackets fans silenced in Game 3

NFL hates Jets, Jews

Wings take Jackets to school

Billy Guerin tells Philly to suck it

Indians partying like it's 1991

Jackets headed to Dee-troit

The Near Future of Sports

Blue Jackets lose to faggoty Penguins

Blue Jackets salvage point in loss to Calgary

Hemsky, Oilers hand Columbus crushing defeat

Spineless War Room in Toronto screws Blue Jackets yet again

Terry Frei and Adam Foote give each other rim jobs

Jackets take on Avs in Denver

Blue Jackets in Anaheim for New Year's

War Room screws Jackets in Dallas

St. Bernardus or the Columbus Blue Jackets?

Nash, Jackets screwed

Opening week college football picks

The Truth

Child molester Jackson now a hero

Father's Day notes from the Boss

Crew Change is boring

Mexicans show us how dirty they are

Columbus Police protect and serve criminals

Columbus Dispatch horseshit

Clowns suck

Columbus Police take their horsies for a walk

Fun with The Columbus Dispatch

We're millionaires, bitches

St. Patrick's Day observations

Ash Wednesday in Columbus

Signs you're in a bad neighborhood

Pickup lines that work like magic

Whitney Houston is a crack whore

Top 10 Elementary School Field Trips

Fun Facts for the retarded to share at cocktail parties

Things to do in 2009

The worst of 2008

Clintonville condo project burns

A good argument for arson

How to drive drunk

Jewelers make us hate Christmas

Buy more life insurance

Oklahoma is our new president

People in Philly throw things

Baked Oposum Recipe

Wheel of Fortune sucks

Movies that cause brain cancer: Cellular

How to pick up a prostitute

Good riddance to East on Arcadia

Is Columbus growing up?

Sponsored by:

Canadian Horseshit

Rick Nash can't catch a break. The captain of the Columbus Blue Jackets has yet to convert a breakaway, teammate Michael Peca was suspended five games for calling out the officials in Dallas, and by the end of Saturday's game found himself getting screwed in Minnesota by the refs and the War Room in Toronto. Nash's redirection goal late in the third was wiped off the board, costing the Blue Jackets a chance for overtime and the point that comes with it. If this was African soccer, blood would surely be shed. Pass us some Triple X, eh?

"Everybody smoke heroin!"

Listen to Pantera, or you might turn queer.