Sandpaper Handjob: Because Jebus loves you

The Magic Negro has selected Rahm Emanuel to be his new Chief of Staff. Emanuel is a shifty little fuck who wants to take your guns away and send all of your money to Israel, which he has duel citizenship with. You have been warned.

5-6-2 (12)

When an NFL team goes down in overtime, it hurts. Fight to tie the game, put in some extra work, and boom! Some little place kicker guy like David Akers comes in and nails a 50-yarder. Mark it down in the loss column, homey, cuz they ain't no reward fo' losin'. Sheeeiiiit.

Unless you're the Columbus Blow Jackets. Thanks to the NHL's stupid rule that gives teams a point for losing in overtime or the shootout, the CBJ can point to a nice little four-game scoring streak that's kept them within sniffing distance of the coveted eighth slot in the Western Conference standings. We see a mere two wins in six games. See for yourself:

10/25 @Minnesota L 2-1
10/27 Anaheim L 3-2
10/30 @Colorado W 4-2
11/1 Chicago L 4-3 (SO)
11/3 @Islanders L 4-3 (OT)
11/5 Edmonton W 5-4

It's kind of like fat bitches who lie about their weight when chatting online. "I'm pleasingly plump." No, you a big fat cunt. The Jackets are 2-2-2 in their last six, but they are really 2-4. Which looks better to you?