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Picture of the Day
City of Columbus water problem

Three weeks ago, we saw three Public Utilities employees working on some sort of water problem on East Duncan Avenue. The youngest of the three was seen spinning around on a shovel like it was a snowboard while the two seasoned vets did their thing, but what are you gonna do? It's government work, baby!

This picture was taken in front of a house on Findley Avenue, just north of Duncan. We're not sure what purpose the cones serve, but we promise to keep you posted if you promise to calm your beating heart.

Columbus Blue Jackets

Game 1, Thursday, 7:00pm

Rookie center/woulda-been-ROY Derick Brassard won't see the ice in the first round against Dee-troit. Brassard injured his shoulder fighting fellow rookie James Neal back in December during an overtime loss in Dallas that was really a Blue Jackets win, goddamnit anyway.

This isn't really news. Columbus GM Scott Howson has told anyone that would listen that Brassard wouldn't see the ice until the first of May, and we don't recall anyone predicting the Jackets making it to the second round.

Forget about Brassard, and forget about Nikita Filatov. You bitches need to dance with the ones that brung yas. Next year the bandwagon will be a bit more crowded, and with good reason.

Short Fiction
Kamikaze Ann

The Country Place

Liquor Shits

The Puppy

The Bank Teller

Dear Jorgé
My friend wants me to knock her up

I want to sleep with my stepfather

Dr. Cruz provides advice for beating the winter blahs

Dr. Cruz is back

Drunk in the Booth
Ohio State rocks soft schedule

Jackets fans silenced in Game 3

NFL hates Jets, Jews

Wings take Jackets to school

Billy Guerin tells Philly to suck it

Indians partying like it's 1991

Jackets headed to Dee-troit

The Near Future of Sports

Blue Jackets lose to faggoty Penguins

Blue Jackets salvage point in loss to Calgary

Hemsky, Oilers hand Columbus crushing defeat

Spineless War Room in Toronto screws Blue Jackets yet again

Terry Frei and Adam Foote give each other rim jobs

Jackets take on Avs in Denver

Blue Jackets in Anaheim for New Year's

War Room screws Jackets in Dallas

St. Bernardus or the Columbus Blue Jackets?

Nash, Jackets screwed

Opening week college football picks
The Truth
Child molester Jackson now a hero

Father's Day notes from the Boss

Crew Change is boring

Mexicans show us how dirty they are

Columbus Police protect and serve criminals

Columbus Dispatch horseshit

Clowns suck

Columbus Police take their horsies for a walk

Fun with The Columbus Dispatch

We're millionaires, bitches

St. Patrick's Day observations

Ash Wednesday in Columbus

Signs you're in a bad neighborhood

Pickup lines that work like magic

Whitney Houston is a crack whore

Top 10 Elementary School Field Trips

Fun Facts for the retarded to share at cocktail parties

Things to do in 2009

The worst of 2008

Clintonville condo project burns

A good argument for arson

How to drive drunk

Jewelers make us hate Christmas

Buy more life insurance

Oklahoma is our new president

People in Philly throw things

Baked Oposum Recipe

Wheel of Fortune sucks

Movies that cause brain cancer: Cellular

How to pick up a prostitute

Good riddance to East on Arcadia

Is Columbus growing up?


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Billy Guerin tells Philly to suck it

Wednesday, April 15, 2009 10:45 PM

While it's true that fighting majors decrease sharply once the Stanley Cup Playoffs kick off, you shouldn't assume that Bill Guerin is going to put up with bullshit from the Philadelphia Flyers. The Pittsburgh Penguins used goals from Sidney Crosbey and Evengi Malkin to beat the Flyers 4-1 in Game 1 of a best-of-seven, but it was Guerin who may have set the tone for the rest of the series. Guerin dropped the gloves with Braydon Coburn at the end of the game; while the fight wasn't much, you can bet that things will get more Canadian-like come Game 2.

Hockey players are funny:

Kiefer Sutherland is the guy who tells Versus viewers that "this broadcast is property of the NHL" and blah, blah, blah. We hated him as the guy on that show with that guy from from Major League, but we loved him as Ace Merril. (See 2:08)

The Cleveland Indians won for the second time this year, beating the Royals 5-4 and avoiding a three-game sweep. Color us impressed.

The Cleveland Browns want to trade Braylon Edwards. We don't give a shit.

Thought for the day: A married woman makes for a worthless bartender.

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