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Picture of the Day
We found the crutches you lost Saturday night. |
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16-16-4 (36)Next Five: |
Short Fiction
Kamikaze AnnThe Country Place
Liquor Shits
The Puppy
The Bank Teller
Dear Jorgé
My friend wants me to knock her upI want to sleep with my stepfather
Dr. Cruz provides advice for beating the winter blahs
Dr. Cruz is back
Drunk in the Booth
Ohio State rocks soft scheduleJackets fans silenced in Game 3
NFL hates Jets, Jews
Wings take Jackets to school
Billy Guerin tells Philly to suck it
Indians partying like it's 1991
Jackets headed to Dee-troit
The Near Future of Sports
Blue Jackets lose to faggoty Penguins
Blue Jackets salvage point in loss to Calgary
Hemsky, Oilers hand Columbus crushing defeat
Spineless War Room in Toronto screws Blue Jackets yet again
Terry Frei and Adam Foote give each other rim jobs
Jackets take on Avs in Denver
Blue Jackets in Anaheim for New Year's
War Room screws Jackets in Dallas
St. Bernardus or the Columbus Blue Jackets?
Nash, Jackets screwed
Opening week college football picks
The Truth
Child molester Jackson now a heroFather's Day notes from the Boss
Crew Change is boring
Mexicans show us how dirty they are
Columbus Police protect and serve criminals
Columbus Dispatch horseshit
Clowns suck
Columbus Police take their horsies for a walk
Fun with The Columbus Dispatch
We're millionaires, bitches
St. Patrick's Day observations
Ash Wednesday in Columbus
Signs you're in a bad neighborhood
Pickup lines that work like magic
Whitney Houston is a crack whore
Top 10 Elementary School Field Trips
Fun Facts for the retarded to share at cocktail parties
Things to do in 2009
The worst of 2008
Clintonville condo project burns
A good argument for arson
How to drive drunk
Jewelers make us hate Christmas
Buy more life insurance
Oklahoma is our new president
People in Philly throw things
Baked Oposum Recipe
Wheel of Fortune sucks
Movies that cause brain cancer: Cellular
How to pick up a prostitute
Good riddance to East on Arcadia
Is Columbus growing up?
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Things to do in 2009
With 2009 a few hours away, we thought we'd share some suggestions that will help you and yours enjoy another happy and healthy year.
Share a beer with your kids A little beer never hurt anyone. Introduce alcohol to your kids when they're young, so they develop good taste. Then you can steal their beer when they're in high school and end up with something better than Keystone Light.
Cheat on your wife with a prostitute Hell, take your wife with you. Maybe it will turn her on.
Smoke pot at work If your boss objects, tell him you know where his children go to school. That should do the trick.
Stalk a celebrity We like Alyssa Milano.
Buy a gun Hell, buy two. They will come in handy this year.
Watch Fargo at least twice You will thank us.
Send us naked pictures of your girlfriend Even if she's a fat twat, we will find a market for them.
Hit someone with your car Urbanites take too damn long to cross the street. Lay off the brakes and see how quick they move.
Call 911 for fun Find a pay phone and tell the dispatcher you just saw a child kidnapped by a vanload of Hispanics. Hang up and find a place to watch.
Go to an NHL game Drink one too many ten dollar beers and count trophy wives. For bonus points, follow one of them into the restroom.
Set a church on fire They burn nicely, and everyone knows that fire rocks!
Father at least five children Deny that they're yours. Go on Maury and embarrass everyone involved.
Go to the strip club Buy a private dance and see if you can get the girl to suck you off. If you spend less than $50, you win!
Take a shit in public It's a good way to become famous on Al Gore's Information Superhighway.
