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Picture of the Day
Columbus artist Mez sums it up nicely |
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15-16-4 (34)Fun Facts: |
Short Fiction
Kamikaze AnnThe Country Place
Liquor Shits
The Puppy
The Bank Teller
Dear Jorgé
My friend wants me to knock her upI want to sleep with my stepfather
Dr. Cruz provides advice for beating the winter blahs
Dr. Cruz is back
Drunk in the Booth
Ohio State rocks soft scheduleJackets fans silenced in Game 3
NFL hates Jets, Jews
Wings take Jackets to school
Billy Guerin tells Philly to suck it
Indians partying like it's 1991
Jackets headed to Dee-troit
The Near Future of Sports
Blue Jackets lose to faggoty Penguins
Blue Jackets salvage point in loss to Calgary
Hemsky, Oilers hand Columbus crushing defeat
Spineless War Room in Toronto screws Blue Jackets yet again
Terry Frei and Adam Foote give each other rim jobs
Jackets take on Avs in Denver
Blue Jackets in Anaheim for New Year's
War Room screws Jackets in Dallas
St. Bernardus or the Columbus Blue Jackets?
Nash, Jackets screwed
Opening week college football picks
The Truth
Child molester Jackson now a heroFather's Day notes from the Boss
Crew Change is boring
Mexicans show us how dirty they are
Columbus Police protect and serve criminals
Columbus Dispatch horseshit
Clowns suck
Columbus Police take their horsies for a walk
Fun with The Columbus Dispatch
We're millionaires, bitches
St. Patrick's Day observations
Ash Wednesday in Columbus
Signs you're in a bad neighborhood
Pickup lines that work like magic
Whitney Houston is a crack whore
Top 10 Elementary School Field Trips
Fun Facts for the retarded to share at cocktail parties
Things to do in 2009
The worst of 2008
Clintonville condo project burns
A good argument for arson
How to drive drunk
Jewelers make us hate Christmas
Buy more life insurance
Oklahoma is our new president
People in Philly throw things
Baked Oposum Recipe
Wheel of Fortune sucks
Movies that cause brain cancer: Cellular
How to pick up a prostitute
Good riddance to East on Arcadia
Is Columbus growing up?
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Norma Jean
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The Worst of 2008
While everyone else talks about how great 2008 was, we thought it would be better to look back on some of the low moments of a very forgettable year. So, in no particular order...
Israel helps elect the Magic Negro When will the sheeple realize the donkeys and the elephants feed from the same trough?
LSU ass-rapes Ohio State in title game Ohio State fans received another heaping helping of humble pie in the national championship, this time at the hands of the LSU Tigers. The 38-24 score was not indicative of the beatdown the Buckeyes received, although the 35-3 final in Los Angeles certainly was. The good news for Buckeye Nation? Ryan Brewer is out of eligibility.
Santa Claus kills people We warned you about Santa, but you failed to listen. This is what happens when you don't listen to us.
Sean Avery suspended for talking shit We're not really sure what the big deal is about talking shit on an ex-girlfriend through the media, especially when the player doing it is responsible for almost all of NHL's national press this year. The NHL should worry more about the horseshit calls coming out of the War Room in Toronto.
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We love sloppy seconds. |
Browns come down to earth If the 2008 Cleveland Browns were a NASA project, they would be the Space Shuttle Columbia. Last year's 10-6 breakthrough was little more than a fluke, a pricktease for long suffering Browns fans who have watched the franchise make the playoffs just once since 1994. GM Phil Savage and head coach Romeo Crennel were fired, Bill Cowher said no thanks to Crennel's job, and we think the 2009 model will be lucky to match 2008's four wins. Saaaaad.
Terrell Owens is still alive It should be obvious by now that Owens is a cancer to every team he plays for. The people at ESPN know what Owens eats at every meal, since they've had their collective mouth on his asshole since his days as a 49er. We're sick of it, and hope that he dies soon.
People can't shut up at the movies It's a real shame that the nation's movie theatres have been taken over by unruly urbanites. James Joseph Cialella Jr. shot a man in a South Philly theatre because his family wouldn't shut the hell up, and they arrested him! What is the world coming to?
Charles Krug is no Annie Sullivan He'll sneak you inside a couple of times, but you won't get a season pass. Charles Krug is still some good shit, so go buy some and maybe you'll get your miracle.
Oprah Winfrey is still alive We are happy about her weight gain, and hope that she dies soon.
Adam Foote is a slimey piece of shit Does Foote know that lies make Baby Jebus cry?
Metallica puts out another record Unfortunately, it wasn't ...And Justice For All.
Columbus tops 100 murders We figure about eighty of these people had it coming. If only we could multiply the 80 by a thousand. That would be a good start.
Gee wants sophomores to live at tOSU Dr. E. Gordon Gee, that cunning little bowtied fuck who runs things down at The Ohio State University, wants to keep students in the dorms for two years instead of one. Gee doesn't seem to care that this would hurt the University District, so we don't care that the good doctor's son-in-law was killed in moped accident. By the way, mopeds are for faggots.
Anheuser-Busch sells out Another nail went into the American coffin as InBev took over our goddamn beer business. Remember those Jewish lizards in the Budweiser commercials that talked shit on Miller for being owned by South Africans? We do.
Other things happened, like the government robbing us blind so that the fat cats can eat caviar and watch kiddie porn in the comfort of their solid gold houses, but what can ya do? At least there's still lots of free porn to look at. Besides, we'll have a new year to hate in just a few days.
